I'm gaining weight at the speed of light.
I am feeling heavy and sad. Needless to say there will be no pregnant pictures of me. I have no pregnant pictures of me carrying Doc either. (sigh) Yes, I already regret it.
I wish my vanity did not get the best of me in this department but it does. There is something to be said about being a woman and feeling attractive...when I look good and feel good I can more easily quiet myself. I can summon that stillness that brings peace and can hear the good things in the universe.
Right now I am a ball of tumultuous nerves. There is a ringing in my ears and my spirit feels cluttered and suffocated. I feel like one of those hoarders only it is my body, not my house that is out of control.
I wish there was a healthy way to purge myself of this feeling but I cannot and will not put my baby at risk. I will just try to make good choices and find that divine pregnant place where I can celebrate my body for what it can do and not hate it for what it looks/feels like.
May 19, 2010
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6 comments:
I feel that way today too...minus the pregnant part. I don't understand why I care so much, and why I let it affect my life so much. Anyway, I hope that the sunshine finds a way to brighten your day!
Yeah...I think most women who are pregnant can relate. Except for my sister who weighs less after giving birth than she does before she gets pregnant. I hate her. In her defense however, she does puke every single day of her pregnancy. I think I'd rather gain 60-lbs...which I did. Hang in there. I'd tell you that, and I quote, "It's worth it", but I won't. Every time someone told me that while I was pregnant I wanted to kick them...in the shins...HARD! :) Doesn't matter if it's true, I still can't stand that little ditty.
You are making a baby. In your tummy. With no hands. That is amazing.
Get all dolled up, have your husband take some pictures, and then don't look at them until the baby is six months? Maybe by then you will wish you had them?
Love, love, love to you! There are a few accidental pics of me pregnant. I pretty much hate them all. The worst was when I was pregnant in the summer, I had a cat that used to follow me around, hoping I'd stop long enough for him to curl up in the shade of my belly! Sigh.
I'm really glad I'm not the only person who hates being pregnant. I'm usually surrounded by women who think it's the most wonderful thing in the world and I wonder what's wrong with me! But there's nothing wrong with that.
I agree with Jackie, get some pictures taken and just don't look at them right now. Jarom loves to see the pictures of when he was in my tummy even if I hated how I looked so I'm still glad I have them. You are amazing and I love you.
It is hard being pregnant! Just like you said though, focus on what your body can do, not what it looks like. It is a beautiful thing1
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