Brave

Last Friday I took Murdock to the hospital for an MRI.
(One day I will write more about the reasons why but for now, I just want to say that he is going to be ok.)
He knew that he would need to go to sleep so a big camera could take pictures of his brain and he was alright with this plan because he is a giant ham and anything involving a camera is super cool.

The doctor and nurses were really great.
They gave him an iPad to play Angry Birds on.
Up until this point, he had only ever played angry birds on a phone so this was a fantastic treat.
He turned to me and said, "Mom! This is magic!"
(It was all I could do to not go out and buy the kid an iPad....I won't, but heaven help me, in that moment, I seriously considered it.)

He may or may not have screamed bloody murder when they put the IV in his hand.

We went into the MRI room where Murdock saw the big donut camera for the first time and suddenly our little adventure got serious.
"Mom, I don't like this."
(I don't either.) "You are going to be ok. I promise."
They laid him down on the MRI tray.
"Mom, I sure love you."
(Not a dry eye in the place.)
"I love you too Buddy."

And then he was out and I had to sit in the waiting room for two hours and sweat.
I may or may not have cried a little.

Waking up for Murdock was really hard.
He has never reacted well to Versed (sedation juice).
It took almost 4 hours and he was miserable.
And confused.
And very, very angry.

Eventually he was back to himself and we got to go home.
Driving back he said, "Mom, I wasn't brave today. I was scared."
(Stop my heart, why don't you?!)
"Murdock, you are VERY brave. Being brave does not mean that you are not scared. Being brave is being scared and doing it anyway. It is okay to be scared. The important thing is that you don't let fear stop you."

"Because we can do hard things, right mom?"

"Right Buddy."

I have never considered myself brave.
Not until Murdock came along.

He makes me brave.

Because we can do hard things.
Together.